Who am I, really?

After living in the states for so many years, I always consider myself Chinese, 100% pure Chinese. Even after been cultivated in American culture for these years, I am still fully aware of my identity, or I thought so at least.

However, my recent discovery shows me otherwise. What are the values of Chinese Year? What are the rituals in preparation for this big celebration? Do I know…or if I remember any?

This is my first Chinese New Year with non-family members. They are a group of people who care deeply, remember, and even follow the traditional Chinese rituals.

There were things that used to be vivid in my memory but now have gone blurry. If anyone asks me what Chinese New Year is about, can I still answer that question ? Unfortunately, I can’t. I might have to google for a good answer. If I were as pure Chinese as I thought I am, shouldn’t this be one of those simple questions that I was born to know?

While I am not catching up with the American culture, I am losing my original identity at the same time. This thought frightens me. Who am I, really?

One thing I know for sure is that I am too old to get red envelope. No money for me this year, or ever. Sometimes just wish that I am still a kid, a happy kid.

Amazing Reading Power

As I was sorting through my old e-mails, I found this incredible little exercise:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch atCmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed itwouthita porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorant!

All right, i can read everything; it is quite amazing how we perceive words. You may say spelling is not that big of a deal, but it still bugs me with so many spelling errors.

A Quick Announcement

Okay, this is coming a bit faster than I expected, but I just received an job offer on Friday.

Looks like I will have a normal life pretty soon. A normal life as in waking up in the morning and going to sleep around midnight.

I am actually very looking forward to that, but there are still tons of other things needed to be taking care of before the job starts. My underconstructed website is the first thing that comes to my mind.

Need to push myself harder. There is not much free time left.

To keep or throw away?

As I ended my temp job two weeks ago, I have now extended my beauty sleep from 6 hours to 10 hours a day. What a great improvement, huh!

I dedicated the rest of time to clean my room and throw out junks. I can’t believe there are so many junks sitting in my room after all these years. From old stuff animals to lecture notes, there are things that look nice but must get rid of at once. While some went to the donation, most stuff is now in my beloved trashcan.

After one week of hard work, I have to admit that I have failed. There are still bunch of stuffs in my room; things that are in very good condition and I would feel bad throwing them away.

This is what I have realized:

1. I have a habit of collecting junks.
2. I can’t shop anymore. While it is very temping to buy things, I must learn how to control myself from buying things that will eventually turn into junks.

I am now happy to hand over my "shopping queen" title to someone else. Well, maybe after I get a pair of tennis shoes and my ski gloves tomorrow. Yup, that sounds better.